Ealing Beer Festival

Last week I went to the Ealing Beer Festival. It was pretty rad. Sure, I have some opinions on CAMRA, but they put on one hell of a festival. We went around 2pm, and it was mercifully slow, thanks in part to on-again, off-again rain showers. The festival had two tents arranged alphabetically. About 1/3rd of the beers were on the first day, so the selection was pretty good.

(It wasn't all dudes, I swear)

I decided to stick to milds and browns, mainly, as I can't find them as reliably in pubs as the bog-standard of bitters. We deposited for the half-pint glasses, and stuck to drinking nips (1/3rd of a UK pint, or roughly 6.6 ounces), for about 90p ($1.45). I started out with a mild as did my colleague. I had Marston Moor Brewing (Now part of Rudgate) Matchlock Mild. The beer presented dark brown, clear and with nearly no carbonation or head. The aroma was fairly strong, dominated by apple esters and some black patent roast notes. On the first taste there is a burst of flavor, especially Goldings hops and some carmel which adds sweetness and some solid chocolate roast. The flavor is still estery. It is medium bodied and sweet in the middle. The finish is pretty dry, with a hard punch of bittering, with added drying from the healthy amount of roast.

(This isn't Black Cat Mild in a Bottle, BJCP fans, this is the real stuff)

My drinking companion had Bazen's Black Pig Mild. This smelled of chocolate roast and had a tobacco note. It was very dark brown, almost opaque, with ruby/garnet highlights. Medium body, medium sweet finish, it was without an ester profile. The flavor was dominated by chocolate roast and had good hopping as well.

(Gravity Fed Casks with Glycol Cooled Jackets)

For our second round, my colleague moved onto Hanby Brewing's Cherry Bomb. It did what the label said, cherry nose and flavor. I had Spectrum Brewing's Trip Hazard. Aptly named for the strength, it was a very strong bitter. The nose was fruitful, with peach and pear notes and low levels of earthy hops. The flavor was sweet almost to the point of cloying, with a medium-full body but a cleansing finish that is medium sweet due to some residual sweetness remaining. This is a clear, copper brew.

(Trip Hazard on left, Cherry Bomb on Right, Lawsuits Forthcoming)

We went for round three with a pair of milds, shown above. I forget what he had, but I had Dark Star Brewing's Over The Moon (foreground). This wasn't as great as I had hoped, though it had a nice level of carbonation, good head stand and was black with ruby highlights again. The aroma was a good mix of apple esters, roast and chocolate with low levels of Fuggles. The flavor was bitter throughout with a very strong dry roast note. There was medium hop flavor and finished somewhat astringent, paired with a medium-light body. So, a bit over-hopped and over dry in my opinion, more like a black bitter than a mild.

(A pair of milds, delicately paired with Pork Scratchings)

And we retired to lunch at this point. The British aren't known for their cooking, historically being chided by the French for having Europe's best ingredients and worst cooks. But they do one thing right- stuff four days worth of inedible left overs into a pie, bake the jesus out of it and produce a hearty, pocketable meal. The wild boar and apple pie was fantastic. So was the steak and ale. What goes with beer? Piles of meat wrapped in butter and flour!

(Not Pictured: Dudes wearing "Sex, Drugs and Pies" shirts)

Back to beers. I followed up the lunch with what was labeled as a 'Victorian Porter,' Acorn Brewing's Old Moor Porter. I'd like to think this meant they made brown malt, didn't use roast and mixed three generations of porter into the barrel, but really think it means they added brewers licorice and gave it a vaguely racist name. A good beer though, and the most useful website of any English brewery I've been to. The boquet is almost coconut with roast, some hops, licorice and coffee. Black roast dominates the flavor, with some caramel notes, raisin like flavors (Crystal II anyone) and some plum esters. The flavor profile is sweet at start, has medium bitterness which adds to a medium-dry finish, with a clean aftertaste.

(At least they don't hang an actual head... anymore)

We had some more beers too (6 rounds, so tried 12 beers and consumed only 2 UK pints each). The twitter has the full notes. The Beartown Brewing's Polar Eclipse was a great example of an oatmeal stout, but I'll end by talking about the Grainstore Brewing Rutland Beast. A good brown ale, listed as 'strong' (5.3% ABV...), which I think is the beer pictured below. It had a malty nose with some coffee notes, no esters and some low earthy hops. The flavor was pretty sweet, with malt and some nice dark fruit esters and some medium low flavor hops (Not fuggles, but not sure what they were). This is a full bodied beer, approaching chewiness. I thought of it as a scaled down barley wine, more than a brown ale. It had a medium finish, which left you knowing you just had some beer, without being thirsty.

(This might be the Rutland Beast, it is certainly no Jersey Devil)

So, after only four hours, trying twelve beers and having pork both fried and in pie form, we took our leave. Had I been closer to Ealing, I'd have liked to go back 4 days later and try these again to see how they aged, as well as some other beers that looked good but weren't on yet. And leaving Ealing, I knew I was safe, because these guys were on patrol!

(Where the badger is the most deadly predator, the Meerkat could should be king)

Ealing Beer Fest

Watch our twitter (JA_BoozeBlog) on Tuesday night or Wednesday day (depending where you are). From noon BST (British Summer Time = -1 UTC) on the 8th, I'll be at the Ealing Beer Festival. The lists of all the beers are here. It should be a good time, and when I sober up there will be pictures, more thorough notes, etc. Excitement!

Fail !!!

I have returned from Beerfest, and all I can say is "Fail...Massive fail." I discovered that there is no way to get through such a competition without puking. A lot of fuck'n puking.

In the end only 7 teams showed up. That means there were 9 teams who were smarter than us. Not a single person got through the competition without massive projectile vomiting at least once during, and many many times afterward. It wasn't a matter of consuming too much alcohol. It was a matter of consuming too much fluid, in general. The human body can only hold so much (some people more than others). Make that fluid carbonated and you end up with quite an ugly situation. If I chugged a 70 oz glass boot filled with root beer, I probably would have still thrown up.

This isn't to say that there aren't dangers in such events, nor am I saying we didn't get drunk. massive amounts of beer were consumed by all, but there were plenty of sober (smarter) people around to help out if someone needed it. It was definitely not one of my shining moments. But as I said, I survived. It's the day after and I got through it at near full capacity. I was even drinking beer today. Will I ever participate in another event like this? I don't know, but for right now I'm going to say "no way."

My only hope is that through my lack of judgment, I have spared you the pain and misery that comes with extreme stupidity. I have taken on that burden, so that you may drink on in moderate stupidity...as it should be.

Beerfest !!!

Today I embark on a quest to Brookville, PA. About an hour and a half northeast of Pittsburgh, this quaint remote town truly is in the heart of Pennsyltucky country. Like so many other small towns, the only real development is a 2-3 mile stretch around the interstate ramps. There are just enough amenities to support the local farmers, truckers passing through, and each other. Aside from farming, the one industry they can claim is that Brookville is where they make all the Major League baseball bats (that's why they're breaking all the time). The largest structure in town is the Sheetz mega gas station and convenience store, where all 48 gas pumps are in use full time, and the MTO line is 10 people deep. The second largest structure in town happens to house an adult video store.

About 15 'country' miles out of town, after traveling through rolling hills and valleys of farmland, we arrive at the backdrop for my adventure. A friend of mine is a co-owner of a small plot of land out in the middle of east-ka-bum-fuck. An old motor home has been built upon over the years, and now is a pleasant cabin with a large patio and a 15 ft diameter fire pit (FIRE!!!). On this beautiful plot of land, McPaddy and I will join 30 other individuals to engage in what may be the stupidest idea we've had in our adult lives... Beerfest!!!

That's right, we're doing it. And I assure you that nothing good is going to come of this weekend. It will be a day-long endurance trial involving 16 two man teams and nearly a dozen different drinking games.

The games will include a rotation of 30 minute rounds to engage in the following games throughout the day: Flip Cup, Das Boot, Shotgun, Quarters, 3 Speed, Putt Putt, War, Balance Beam. Teams will earn points based on performance during the event. After a break for dinner, the final round will begin with each teammate participating in either Edward 40 Hands, where two 40s are duct taped to your hands, or the Power Hour Dance Off, where each person takes a shot of beer every minute while dancing until only one man is left standing (uh, dancing). Additional points can be either earned or deducted for various acts of drunken godliness or the inevitable party foul.

The weeks leading up to this event have been filled with both anticipation and apprehension. As I state at the beginning, this may be one of the more idiotic things that I've done.

The Disclaimer: We here at JABB do not encourage or condone such activities. Do not try this at home. We are professional alcoholics,and therefore do not have any brain cells left to tell us this is a very bad idea.