Disco beers

I got my new badge. Straight up top quintile of homebrew-judges. Sure, it is just homebrew, so we find nasty flavors and write out long scoresheets. Not as idyllic as picking the best beer in a pro-comp.

Now, where's my gun?

Where have we been? Richard Dicks has been laying pipe. Lots and lots of pipe. He sends me pictures sometimes, and the gaping holes he leaves. The missus is pissed.

bJames has been blogging about more domestic pursuits and playing it tight and deep at the base of the shaft neck.

I've been dealing with substances measured in grains, not grams. I am generally feeling better.

But the industry isn't getting any better. And I'm still pissed off at the encroachment of foul and foreign flavors into beer. Bigger, oakier, and less wine-like didn't help the US wine industry, and it won't help here. If you want your beer to taste more like kiwi than beer, go get a Mike's you stupid fucking Trixie. Like most viruses, the Chicago craft 'beer' scene is expanding exponentially. With the exception of Mosher's new startup, I'm skeptical of anyone putting flavorings first. We could use more pop makers, just cut the alcohol and pretense of making beer-- I'll drink the shit out of a $4 cocoa-nib rasberry and lime soda. I'll even buy it on draft. But maybe don't call it beer.*

A friend is opening a brewery, I sent him some motto suggestions. Here is my favorite rejected one:

Beer that doesn't taste like flavored condoms

*I wish all those guys well. Really. I'm glad to see people getting their homebrew out there. Maybe the market is foul. Disco sucked too, but it fed a real market need.

N.B. My views do not represent any organization unfortunate enough to have me as a member.

Weird Watering Holes

Where you drink says a lot about who you are.

http://unrealitymag.com/index.php/2010/04/21/the-weirdest-bars-in-the-world/

So which one of these places would I go to? Well, I'd like to see all of them, except that coffin place which seems to be made from discarded 2x4's and contractor sized trash bags.

But which one might I want to go back to? Has to be the Hobbit House. Why? Because it's just a bar. All those other places have a lot of style, but they seem to be lacking in substance. But those little folk seem to have a well stocked back bar and some decent music, so that's where I'm heading if I find myself coughing up hairballs. I'll take blues and whiskey over spraypainted wheelchairs any day.

Twice in one week and Flinstones (Via @Brookston)

The ever amazing Brookston Beer Bulletin has an amazing post about The Flinstones schilling for Busch Beer.

http://brookstonbeerbulletin.com/the-flintstones-drink-busch-beer/

Sir, you are what we admire most but don't aspire to be, at least in this forum.

Snowballin'

Sorry its been a while since I rapped at ya'll. I'm just getting home from yoga with my wife and maybe the 'Namaste' has cleared my mind for more dick jokes.

A lot has been going on of late brewing-wise for me. I've been judging, and blogging about that judging. I'd tell you the link but that would defeat the purpose of this being semi-anonymous. I've made a bunch of beers, but didn't place any of them lately, so I'm a bit grumpy.

I break my silence to bring you breaking news straight from Chicagoist! They've just had a massive snowball session with Dogfish head. It shows a ton of class on their part that they would go ahead and respond to a twitter complaint. This is outweighed only by the naivete of the author who seems to think this had nothing to do with his position as a beer reviewer in a major market. A major market that is 2 weeks away from hosing the Craft *fucking* Brewers Conference! Nice all around, and snowball away. I for one am sorry your extreme beer tasted like grape instead of wood and the Calagiones are a class act. I just hope their new Italian-power Manhattan brewpub doesn't turn into a crowded velvet-rope/scenester pile of pretentious shit like most of midtown. Can New York City support a real brewpub; no, history shows. Can it support celebrity stuff- until TMZ stops caring. If anyone can pull of the conversion it is two of the most X-treme brewers in the country. Thankfully, they can both brew good beers that aren't fermented from a hot air balloon, so their might be room for all.

After all, Penn Brewing has a pale fucking ale out; so anything is possible. I bet Gordon-Bierch's new mild will rock!