Thursday, April 9, 2009

Epic Booze Quest

Well I'm off on a another amazing Journey to the Middle East. This time I stop off in Jordan for a few days, before I go on to Abu Dhabi. It's a shame I won't have more time in Jordan. I would've loved to see the resting place of the Holy Grail.

Anyways, I'm at the airport now, waiting to board. I've had a shot of Jim Beam and a few beers. Hopefully it'll relax me enough for my 12 hour flight.

As you all know (all 3 of you who actually read this blog), I like to bring back with me unique and exotic alcoholic beverages from my many journeys. I'm not expecting much, since I'm pretty much limited to the duty free in these Islamic countries. But, I will try my best. If nothing else, I can always pick up another bottle of Havana Club.

One drunk man was talking with a young newly wed at the bar. The older gentleman said "I've been married twice already. I'll never get married again." The younger man inquired as to why. "Well, my first wife died from eating poisoned mushrooms, and my second wife died from head trauma", said the older drunk man.

"Wow, that's a shame", said the younger man. "Might I ask, how did it Happened?"

The old drunk replied "She wouldn't eat her mushrooms."

8:10PM - I've arrived at JFK in New York. I slept during the last 20 minutes of the flight. Combine that with the 5-6 drinks I had in Pgh, and I arrived in a that grogy and slightly drunk state. I'm not used to a international flight via Delta, and I'm a little worried. It's a 12 hr flight and from what I'm told, I only get one complimentary drink during the meal. Everything else costs money. And that is "drink" drink. Not just alcohol. Cheap Ass Bastards.

And God said "Let there be whiskey." And he saw that it was good. On the next day God said "Let there be light." To which God replied "Whoa, too much light!"

9:13:PM - Oh God! The Stench!
F*ck you, Delta Airlines.

I've got nothing. This f*ck'n sucks donkey balls. See you all in 12 hours if I survive.

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