This Day in Booze: The Beer Bottle

You've just come home from a long hard day at work. you're tired and exhausted, and you just want to relax for a couple of minutes. You grab a nice cold bottle of beer out of the fridge and the condensation on the bottle feels great in your hand. You pop the top, kick off your shoes, flop down on the couch, and enjoy. Ahh, that hits the spot.
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Sounds great doesn't it, but that wasn't always a luxury that every man could enjoy....or was it. I thought it used to be that if you wanted a beer in the old days, you had little choice but to head on down to the local tavern or inn, where the barman would poor you a nice "warm one" from the huge wooden cask behind the bar.

I was surprised to find out recently that bottled beer goes back a lot farther than I originally thought. Then I thought about it a little and it made perfect sense. Of course bottled beer had to exist in the old days. How else would you tailgate with your buddies outside the Coliseum. Nothing like a cold one to get you in the mood for gladiators fighting or the lions getting their noon snack.



So how far back does the beer bottle go?

It was a pleasant July day in 1568. Alexander Nowell, the Dean of St Paul's Cathedral, in London, decided he wanted to do some fishing down by the river. He packed up all his fishing gear and tackle, the wife packed him a ham and cheese sandwich, and he grabbed his night crawlers and the new fishing lure he bought off of the Outdoor Channel. He was all set to go when he realized, what would go great with fishing? A beer! Because fishing without beer is like driving without beer. It's just no fun. So he stopped by the corner pub on his way to the river and had them fill a glass bottle up with beer for him. He made sure they sealed it up good and tight with a cork so his horse wouldn't get pulled over for an open container.

When done fishing, he accidentally left the still half full bottle on the river bank. Several days later (July 13th) he returned to do some more fishing, because he needed an excuse to get away from the wife for a while. He saw his old beer on the ground and thought "man, I could really go for some for that right now." When he went to drink it, the cork opened with a loud bang (the beer had fermented further over the past few days). He found it to be extra fizzy and quite delicious.

I guess he must have told his buddies, because by the 17th century bottled beer was quite commonplace. It was usually only drunk, however, by the wealthier middle and upper classes who really didn't want to mingle with normal folk down at the inn, or those people who just weren't that into Friday's lute and karaoke night.

Another one for those masochists out there.

Fore!

Sadly, not real. It's just a slightly dangerous magic trick. Look at 26 seconds, you can see where the ball she hit actually went. Look on the right edge of the path back towards where the table is, you'll catch a glimpse of the real ball.

The dude holding the aluminum bottle just flipped it back into the bushes with his fingers at the appropriate time. Earlier, someone had planted a pre-dented bottle in the bushes.

The real ball was a grounder back into the bushes. They might not have even digitally removed it. On such a low quality recording, you could probably hardly see the ball - and there's another giveaway. The "ball" that hits the can is way too clear for such a poor quality recording, it was digitally added later.

All that being said, I do NOT recommend trying this at home! Even attempting this the way I just described is very dangerous!! Especially if you've been drinking. You see, although she didn't have to hit the can to make the trick work, she did have to not hit one of the people. Sure, the area where there's no people is a much bigger target than the can, but there's still the possibility of hitting someone.

And if you think that's not a big deal, just ask Richard Dicks. One time we were out golfing (and drinking, of course) with Paddy. Richard hit a low grounder off to the right of the tee box, into some bushes. He took off after it, with the intention of taking a Mulligan on the shot. I casually teed up, addressed the ball, and as I was backswinging it occurs to Paddy what is about to happen. As if in slow motion (to him) he opened his mouth to yell "Stop!" but it was too late. I was already on the downswing and the ball drove straight and hard to the right, hitting Richard squarely in the right shoulder blade. He had a large welt for a month, and a sore shoulder for even longer.

But apart from the digital ball, it's just a basic magic trick. It would probably even work in person. The viewer's eye naturally follows where they think the ball should go, and they don't notice the grounder going towards the picnic table. Especially if they've been drinking. Probably no one was searching the bushes earlier for planted bottles.


Simple, when you know how it's done.