Happy Saint Patty's Day

Yes, it's that time of year to don those tacky shamrock glasses, your favorite drinking shirt, and pound back 37 bottles of cheap green beer. Though the holiday was already celebrated this past Saturday in most cities in the U.S., that doesn't mean today shouldn't still be celebrated as well. There's only one problem. You have work in the morning. OK, I know some of you don't have jobs to worry about, but for the rest of us that attempt to contribute to society, this puts us in a bit of a predicament. Well hopefully you've gotten the binge out of the way over the weekend. After all, that's what weekend is are for. Fortunately there are plenty of ways to enjoy the good Irish spirit without getting totally shit faced, allowing you to function the next day at your normal capacity (about 23%).

Instead of hitting the club scene where overweight frat boys run around drunk in "Kiss Me I'm an Asshole" T-shirts and girls who should be wearing this on there belt buckle, try to do something a little low key. There are plenty of alternatives that let you enjoy the spirit of the Eire without losing your job the next day, or catching chlamydia.

I like to find a nice hole-in-the-wall bar or a traditional Irish pub. Or better yet, pickup some booze and host a little St. Patrick's Day celebration of own. Pickup some nice Irish stouts or a good porter. Guinness is the best known and is the stout by which all others are judged. It is definitely is fine brew, and I like to think of it as "liquid bread", but why not try something else this season. Grab yourself some Murphy's or Beamish. Murphy's Irish Stout is heavy in it's maltiness and has a chocolate finish that goes down smooth. Personally, I've never tried Beamish, but I hear it has a more roasted flavor than Guinness. Up until recent years, these three were about all you could get this side of the Atlantic. Fortunately, in the wave of new upstart micro brews here in the States, the American pallet has been primed and ready for some quality imports. Don't know what to look for? Find yourself a bar with a wide selection of bottles and more obscure brews on tap. Chances are the barkeep will be able to point you in the right direction.

Stouts too heavy for you? Then try your hand at an Irish red ale. Immediately when those words are uttered, people think of Killian's, but George Killian's Irish Red is NOT a red ale. It is in fact a lager style beer. It also happens to be an American brew produced by Coors. So if your trying to earn brownie points with the leprechauns, so they'll show you where their pot o' gold is, find something else to drink (if this has actually happened to you, you have gone and smoked yourself retarded). Some good Irish red ales include Smithwick's, Moling's Traditional Red Ale, or Galway Hooker.

Whatever you chose to drink this Saint Patrick's Day, don't forget to chase it down with a nice shot of Irish whiskey.

Hmmm, that's the good stuff.

Here's to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint- and another one!

Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!