I wasn't looking too good but I was feeling real well

Bored waiting for a Windows update to install on someone's computer, I opened a browser and sought to entertain myself in a manner that was more-or-less safe for work.  Then I came across a headline that made my heart sink: after decades of making every other drinker on the planet look like a fucking lightweight, Keith Richards is on the wagon!

There's been a lot of trouble lately with The Stones other guitarist Ronnie Wood ditching his wife for a young Russian "waitress" and proceeding to generally wreck everything in his life by drinking alcohol faster than the maximum output of Seagram's.  Rumors were The Stones were going to tour again soon.  They have now officially said that is not the case, and speculation is it's because the insurance company won't insure the tour with Ronnie's drinking problem.  Why is that the speculation?  Because it's happened before. 


Ronnie has thrown his life into such disarray with his drinking, that it has allegedly scared Keith and he quit drinking completely.  He says he's been dry for a few months now.  Seriously, how fucking bad is your substance abuse problem when Keith fucking Richards says "Holy shit, dude, you need to slow down!"?

I find this news kind of sad.  Not just because things are falling apart for Ronnie, but that Keith has gone straight.  Why?  Well, I'm kind of working on that question myself.  Maybe because Keef is a symbol of responsible irresponsibility.  He always appeared to ride things on the ragged edge, but he always pulled through somehow.  He indulged in whatever he desired, but never to the point that things completely fell apart.  Personally, I've always felt abstinence was a sign of weakness.  You need to eliminate temptation from your life because you can't be trusted to keep your shit together.

But now he's not that symbol, and that makes me sad inside.  Not that I thought of him as a role model.  Fuck no!  I mean, you're a cool guy, Keef, and it would be awesome to meet you; but I think it would be folly on a grand scale for someone to pattern their life after you.  Still, it somehow seems like a little sliver of fun and freedom just left the world.  A good friend of Keith's once rhetorically asked "Where were you when the fun died?"  Well, I guess I was installing Windows 7 on some dude's computer at work.

Still, one gets the sneaking suspicion that Keef is mainly doing this to try to encourage Ronnie to get his shit together.  And that is highly commendable.  Think about it for a minute.  How much would you give up to help a friend?  Would you quit your favorite habit or passtime?  Would you quit smoking, or watching football, or whacking it to bestiality porn while your wife is in the shower?  More to the point, would I give up alcohol if Richard Dicks or M. Randolph was acting like Ronnie?

I'd tell them I did. 

Maybe.