Saturday, September 19, 2009

International Talk Like a Pirate Day


Don’t ferget ye landlubbers that today be “International Talk Like a Pirate Day.” So belay that clacker n' secure ye blunt, ye lily livered sprogs. Time to git all ship shape and bristol fashion, fer we throw sheet towar’ the horizon t’ join other gentlemen of fortune in the sweet trade for the day.

How says ye?

To celebrating this good day I plan to heave canvas and haul wind t' Saxonburg fer a musket festival. I'll be meet'n me matey thar fer a Clap of Thunder. It will be full of sea rats n' marauders alike, n' we'll be free to plunder their stash of rum. The grog will flow till we be loaded to the Gunwhales and lay down among the dead men, or fall in with a lady of expansive sensibility.

If it be grog ye be after then might I suggest this preparation. "the proportion of a quart of water to every half pint of rum". This fer a real kill-devil. Not the candy ye ladies drink whilst floating about in your jollyboat.

Nay, this be fer a real rum, to be drunk by men. The stuff that's used to scrub the barnicles and scum from me ship's bottom. Once you've spliced the mainbrace, be sure to pillage yer guts out in every port ye make land. Kill the women and rape the livestock, but be sure to return with some swag, and perhaps some booty, fer ye captain,

lest he force ye to kiss the gunner's daughter.

Fair winds to ye corsairs!


1 comment:

  1. *sad* Saturday posts get no love. I was hoping for some fun pirate banter, but instead got nothing. That makes me a sad pirate.